Take away the dross from the silver, and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer (Proverbs 25:4).
The silver will not appear as a wonderful vessel when the dross is present. Similarly, the end product will not be good when the dross is in the gold. As a family, we must remove the dross from our families. The dross refers to anything that doesn’t speak of the righteousness or holiness of Jesus Christ, including those things that don’t represent Jesus Christ. Those things not planted by God that represent dross in our families must be removed (Matthew 15:13). By doing so, our families can become purified and sanctified vessels that please God. He will look upon us and say, “Yes, this is my family, the family I am well pleased with,” just as He said of His Son (Matthew 3:17).
God asked Satan, “Have you considered my servant, Job?” (Job 1:8). Job was a man who feared God and consciously and constantly avoided evil. As a husband of one wife and father of many children, what example are you setting for your family? Are you consciously staying away from sin—those things that speak against God’s righteousness and holiness? The same question applies to wives and children.
This lesson focuses on inviting Jesus Christ, by His mercy, to look into our families and remove anything representing dross. In the end, our families will become finer, purified vessels, sanctified to enable Him to come into our homes anytime and day to fellowship with us, talk to us, and give us information as He did in the Garden Of Eden before sin was found.
2 Chronicles 20 reveals that worship is a weapon of deliverance as a family. However, it won’t work for everyone because not all worship God accepts. When worshipping God with unforgiveness or bitterness toward your spouse, God will not accept such worship. Similarly, if you provoke your children to wrath every time while worshipping God, He will not accept it either. In 2 Chronicles 20:21, Jehoshaphat appointed singers unto the Lord to praise the beauty of His holiness. A person offering such worship must be holy because they have been appointed unto the Lord – meaning they are a holy vessel appointed to offer holy worship unto God.
It is important to note that it wasn’t everyone Jehoshaphat said to, “Hey, come, let’s go” No! he appointed singers among the people based on their qualifications according to God’s righteousness and holiness. Also, Jehoshaphat didn’t say, “Everyone in the camp, let’s praise God.” No! After fasting, God led him to specific people to appoint. Not everyone can sing praises unto God in Church; it must be on the foundation of holiness. Therefore, your holiness must be there so your worship will be accepted because you’re singing and worshipping the Holy God, who desires our holy worship to praise the beauty of His holiness.
HOLINESS IN THE FAMILY: A COLLECTIVE EFFORT
Holiness in the family, victory for the husband, the wife, and the children. Everyone in the family enjoys it because it’s a collective effort; the father, mother, and children must join hands to fight to keep holiness. No one is excused. When Eve failed to keep God’s holiness in the Garden of Eden, it affected everyone—including the beasts in the garden. When holiness is preserved in our families, the entire family is protected. If you give holiness, holiness will be given unto you (Galatians 6:7).
From the beginning, God established a family (Genesis 2) to extend His government (kingdom) down to earth (Matthew 6:10) so He can come in anytime and have a wonderful fellowship with man. This divine relationship was what Satan saw and said, “No, it can’t be like this. How can you be coming on this earth to have a relationship with a man.” So he fought to hinder it. The Garden of Eden serves as the type for families. God gave a specific instruction: “Husband, dress and keep the family,” meaning take care of it, keep it intact, and watch over it. Any day I see stain (sin) on it, you shall die (Genesis 2:15 – 17). The death refers to spiritual separation rather than physical death.
God warned Adam that “the day you eat of this tree” means “the day you sin,” I’ll separate from family, and when I do, even friendly wide beasts will become unfriendly to the family. Everything will turn against your family because my presence has been withdrawn from it. Therefore, ensure sin is not found in it. When a husband becomes spiritually separated from God, what becomes of him? When God’s presence surrounds you and your family, the enemy stays far away (John 1:5).
In Genesis 2:18 – 23, whatever Adam named became as he said it. God created something and brought it before man, saying, “You carry my DNA; You’re like me. Go ahead to name them.” This illustrates the power is functioning on – the capacity to give something a name, the ability to communicate God’s mind and bring it into manifestation.
Adam could name things created because he maintained God’s glory; he carried God’s presence. However, when God’s presence left him due to sin, he became something else entirely. When you maintain God’s righteousness and holiness, you operate like Him, but when sin takes over a person’s life, they become detached from God’s nature.
In Genesis 2:24 – 25, Adam and Eve were both naked but not ashamed because God’s glory covered them — His righteousness and holiness covered them like clothing. They didn’t think or imagine anything evil. When you maintain God’s righteousness and holiness, you’ll not experience shame (Romans 10:11).
THE TEMPTATION OF EVE
In Genesis 3:1-5, satan asked Eve, “Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” He didn’t present himself first by saying, “Satan is saying to you, don’t eat.” When Satan comes to tempt you, he’ll come quoting God’s word to open a door for you, and through that opening, he’ll eat you. He tempted Jesus Christ with the word by quoting Psalm 91. Satan knows Scripture better than we do; he’s wiser than even our forefathers. Never forget he was there with God. Don’t even allow Satan to engage you in conversation because many cannot resist his softness; such conversations can lead to destroying your life.
Adam and Eve didn’t recover from their mistake; the entire Garden of Eden was abandoned because of the conversation a woman opened up with Satan. Satan only needs a small opening (Ecclesiastes 10:8). The bible warns about little foxes (Song of Solomon 2:15) – Loopholes. He only needs a small hole to enter; trust him, he will enlarge it. God told Adam and Eve that they’d surely die the day they ate of the tree; however, Satan contradicted this by saying they wouldn’t die.
Did Eve need Satan to tell her she is already like God? Adam and Eve were operating like God already (Psalms 82:6). Thus, don’t give Satan an inch. Don’t open up your ears to Satan’s conversation. Stay away from all his tricks.
PROTECTING HOLINESS IN OUR FAMILIES
Women must stand to protect God’s holiness within their families ( Proverbs 14:1). Adam and Eve knew they were naked after they fell into sin (Genesis 3:6-7) because God’s glory had departed from them; they then sought an alternative way to cover their nakedness by sewing fig leaves. You start looking for alternatives when you fall out of God’s righteousness and holiness. Why are many people engaging in unnecessary warfare prayers and fastings that God didn’t ask of them? It’s because they violated God’s instructions, and the glory of God has departed (Proverbs 16:7; 1 Peter 3:13).
Let us consider Zacharias and Elisabeth’s family as an example; according to Luke 1:5-7, despite their challenges, both the husband and wife were righteous before God – This is what God expects from every family and not the wife being righteous while the husband is unrighteous or the husband is righteous while the wife is unrighteous. As a holy family, God expects your family to work in all commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. Can God look at you as a husband or wife and say, “Yes!, this person is working in all my ordinances and commandments blameless”?
HOW CAN WE WALK IN GOD’S COMMANDMENTS AND ORDINANCES BLAMELESS?
Let us consider four ways to achieve this.
1. LOVE
Love must reign in our families (John 3:16). To achieve this, the husband must keep himself to ensure that the family stays in God’s righteousness. Likewise, the wife must sacrifice a lot to ensure God’s holiness is not tampered with in her home. She must step out of her comfort zone. Love can’t know wrong (John 15:13; Ephesians 5:25 – 28). Love will push you to go to extra lengths to ensure your family stays holy.
What makes a person hate a man or a woman God created? It’s Satan. Hatred is not of God; it’s from Satan (1 John 3:15). If a husband hates his wife, he hates himself; if he calls her names, he’s calling himself the same names; if he slaps her, he’s slapping himself; and if he abuses her, he’s abusing himself (Ephesians 5:29 – 31; Ephesians 5:32 – 33; 1 Corinthians 13:1-10). There shall be no third party in your marriage -seek wisdom or counsel without involving parents in your family matters so they’ll not come and tear your family into pieces because what worked for them may not work for you. Every family has their peculiar challenge so ask God how to confront yours.
With love, you’ll not think evil against your spouse. Let the love of Christ reign in our homes (1 Peter 4:8).
2. GOD’S COMMANDMENT
Let God’s commandment guide your family. In Genesis 18:17-19, God knew Abraham would lead his household to keep God’s commandment. God boasted about Abraham. Keeping to God’s commandments and ordinances in the family brings mighty increase, promotion, and prosperity (Deuteronomy 6:1-9).
If God’s word is not first rooted in your heart as parents, you’ll be unable to communicate it to your children (Proverbs 23:7). You can’t give what you don’t have. Passing down God’s ordinances to your children is not only verbal but also through action. Parents must be careful because your naughty character, hurt, nagging nature, and careless talking are being passed on or taught to your children without speaking. Therefore, God’s word must first settle in your heart because, through your heart, you talk and act (Luke 6:45).
Write God’s commandments on your heart and the gate so that if a stranger comes into your family, they will know this’s what your family believes; this’s the family’s value, goal, and law and that the family belongs to God. If a husband loves his wife (Ephesians 5:25), that’s keeping God’s commandment; if a wife submits to her husband (Ephesians 5:22), that’s keeping God’s commandment. Everyone plays their role to ensure God’s commandment is kept in the home. Children, you obey your parents (Ephesians 6:1).
3. CHURCH
Bring your family to Church and Church to your family. When you come to Church without your children, you violate God’s instruction and miss out on God’s blessing (Hebrews 10:25; Psalms 122:1; Psalms 84:7; Psalm 133:1-3). In God’s sanctuary, there’s honour, beauty, and majesty. As we gather together in Church, God pours out His blessings.
When your children are left at home, Satan will seize opportunities to take them to his own Church. When you bring your family to Church and take Church to your family, that’ll be an addition to your family (Deuteronomy 8:18; Acts 2:46 -47) – you don’t have to ask for it, God will add it automatically because He’s a covenant-keeping God. He changes not. Keep your side of the covenant and God will keep His side of the covenant.
Make your home a church of its own. Instead of quarrying and shouting every time, play worship songs that will way off all these demonic activities in the home. Bring the Church to your home.
4. CHILDREN
Parents should see their children as gifts from God (Psalm 127:3 – 5) and treat them as gifts also – value and love them. You didn’t qualify for it, but God gave you them. It’s a privilege that you have them as a gift, so place a value on them. Don’t treat your children as nobody or a slave. Some parents treat their children like slaves under the guise of training them. How you treat your children determines how God will also treat you.
If you have two children, that’s two generations; four children, four generations; five children, five generations. Whatever you pass out to your children, they’ll pass out to their generation. Would you want the next generation to suffer because of your naughty character or attitude? That’s the question I asked myself. Therefore, treat your children well so they can pass out the good things to the next generation.
Another way to treat children is correction. Correct them when they are wrong. Correction is love, also. Don’t say, “I love them,” but you’ll not flog them when they do something bad. When it’s time to flog, flog them and when it’s time to correct, correct them (Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 22:15). Don’t cover your children up in inequity (Proverbs 29:15; Proverbs 29:17). When you correct your children, they’ll give you rest, but when you keep quiet in all their sins, you’re digging a pit for yourself. Don’t get tired of correcting your child. There must be a day of acceptance when the child will accept the corrections. It’s not the day a person sows a seed it germinates. Keep correcting; never give up on any of your children.
Everyone has God’s potential inside of them, but Satan always fights against it. The most vulnerable people Satan targets are pastors’ children because they have precious gifts. So when you see a pastor’s child misbehaving, it’s not something to criticize; instead, help if you can in prayer.
Children, honour your mother and father. The goodness of God is maintained in your family (Ephesians 6:1-4).